Fun with Fish and Friends
by KidFlash13
Summary: When the team has a King for a den mother, what royal surprise is in store for them? No OCs. One-shot. Slight Spitfire.


It was a fairly normal day at the Cave. Aquaman was the team's den mother of the week, and being the unquestionably awesome League member he is, he decided to give them a 'fun' mini-mission as an icebreaker. Their assignment: to learn about Atlantis in a hands-on experience.

"Ooooh does this mean we get to sing 'Yellow Submarine' under the sea?" Wally interjected.

"I… well I never did say anything about underwater travel" the Atlantean responded awkwardly. Excited smiles from Robin and KF slowly disappeared, replaced with a frown and pout respectfully.

"What exactly did you have in mind, my King?" Kaldur questioned.

* * *

><p>"Ewww!" several squeals (including a manly one from Conner) pierced the air as Aquaman thrust a preserved crayfish towards the team. Artemis and Robin stared on, wondering how their super powered teammates could stop super villains and still cower in the face of a two-inch Arthropod.<p>

"Wait a second. Is that a crawfish?" Wally asked.

"Technically yes, that is what most land-dwellers call the crayfish, but today you will not use such slang and appreciate the beauty of th–" Aquaman started to say.

"Score. Crawfish boil." Wally took one and brought it up to his face. "Ugh! Is that formaldehyde? Never mind." He stuck his tongue out at the offensive smell and held the crawfish out in a disgusted manner. Artemis smacked him upside the head and took the creature away form him, placing it on one of two tables set out for the team's 'adventure'. The boys set up at one and the girls took the other.

"I would love to supervise you while you discover true inner beauty, but I skipped lunch earlier and need to fill my stomach." Aquaman sheepishly announced as his stomach rumbled audibly.

"Of course, we understand Aquaman." M'Gann bubbled. The blond left the room in a regal style. "Quick! Where can we hide two crawfish?" the Martian asked in a bit of a panic as the door shut. The team had various expressions of shock on their faces at her outburst. Aqualad's eyes betrayed pain.

"Do you really think so lowly of King Orin's exercise?"

"Of course not Aqualad!" she replied with false cheer. "It's just that I don't like to harm anything, living or not."

"It's not like you're going to hurt it anyway Green Cheeks." Artemis elbowed the speedster.

"Relax M'Gann, it's just like when you cook in the kitchen" she reassured her.

"Oh of course you would be pro-dissection. I bet you go hunting all the time," Wally teased.

" You're pro-dissection too! Just because I'm an archer doesn't make me a huntress." Artemis exclaimed.

"So what do you hunt Arty? Birds, deer, humans?" Wally continued. The blonde rolled her eyes and smirked.

"Well there was this one guy. He was an annoying red head who couldn't keep his trap shut and stop calling me nicknames, so I had to take him down."

"How dare you kill Roy?" Wally bellowed. The team burst into laughter at his expense while the slow speedster blushed. Soon after, they resigned to their fate of dissecting crawfish and got to work.

The boys finished first and, after cleaning up their area, they went to hover over Zatanna, Artemis and M'Gann. The Martian was cowering behind a sympathetic Zatanna while Artemis attempted to find and remove it's brain- the last of their tasks. The archer was probing the tip of the cranium's resting area, growing increasingly frustrated as her marksman's eyes were unable to locate the ganglia. She huffed at the thought of being defeated by a tiny animal and felt a gentle finger tap her shoulder.

"May I?" the speedster smiled almost victoriously. She flushed and handed him the probe. He peered inside the battered crayfish, and after a minute of careful consideration, said that it didn't appear to have a brain.

" You two must have evolved from the same brainless ancestor Baywatch" the Archer grinned. The speedster turned pink once again as he insisted that the crayfish must've inherited the 'Artemis gene' by some tragic genetic malfunction.

"That's the best you can come up with Kid Idiot? I'm not the one leaning on crayfish gills."

"You're one to- wait what?" Wally squealed for the second time that day, trying in vain to brush off the fish's inner body parts. He slipped in the process and landed face first in mangled crayfish. As he screamed and danced around at dizzying speeds, the team began to laugh. It turned into an uproar after they saw Aquaman faint at the sight of crayfish abuse.

* * *

><p>They were still cleaning up random particles of crawfish anatomy from the ceiling two days later, under the firm supervision of a very disturbed Aquaman. Icebreaker mini-missions were outlawed after that fateful day.<p>

**Hey guys! Just wanted to get this fun idea out here before focusing on "Artemis the Original." It just had to be written, especially because it's partially based on a true story. XD I love my science class. I do not own YJ or "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles.**


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